Mid-Eclipse - The Threshold and The Architect

This eclipse is intense and I feel myself to be in the eye of the storm

navigating my mother in hospital, in limbo, the business potentially not being able to pay me, James mid-moving schools, my resonance work trying its first fledgling flights and no clarity if this little seed will sprout.

There is so much that consumes my thoughts, disturbs me, panics me that I may have to leave this place I adore, I have to somehow stay steady and hold fast.

This reading is intended to help me understand what this intense compression eclipse is preparing me for and helping me to leave behind.

The Fault Line

The eclipse is exposing a truth for me that I can no longer ignore: Nine of Swords RX + The Giveaway

I see where I am led by negative thoughts, by fear. Nothing in my day to day life has actually changed and yet moment to moment I can decide that my job will end, I will be destititute, next that my mother will die alone and I will have abandoned her, next that I must sell my house, that her house will be worthless or consumed in nursing care, that James and I will have to lie in some rundown flat and live off the state. My thoughts and my fear can surge and drive so much of my life. It impedes my life potential and strips me of my life force because then there is nothing left from which to create, to be inspired. My fear stops me trying my resonance work, from creating regenerative living products. But as I find myself pushed to this edge, that there is no choice but to push past my fears because what is there to lose? I cannot stay nice and cosy and risk nothing. I must risk whatever it is that I'm scared to risk - exposure? being wrong? success that I can't live up to?

Literally all that I can do is live my life from my open heart. My must offer my true heart and authentic self to the world - love, kindness, gratitide. With no attachment to recieving anything in return. Maybe the business can't pay me, maybe my resonance work doesn't land and never makes money. I can only put one foot in front of the other and keep going with my open heart.

The Projection

I am still trying to fix, rescue or control what is not mine: The Tower RX + Childhood Innocence

I may be holding on too hard to try and avoid the collapse. I am clinging onto old structures. Structures from my past. Structures that I thought kept me safe - like having a job, having a home, having a family! The old way is gone now. I want the innocence of childhood to continue, so I can stay safe and cosy in my bubble. But this is all collapsing now. Something new comes

The Grief

Something must be mourned fully, so it does not follow me: Goddess of Fire + Self Love

I believe this is something intangible to describe about abandonment, banishment, not fully loving myself and being present for myself when I needed it. Self-abandonment as much as the abandonment I experienced growing up. Abandonment of my mother, the crone. Grieving what I was and life I had and acceptance now of becoming Babba Yagga. She abandoned me and now I abandon her. Circle of life. Tragedy.

But I do feel this is sentimental and can't keep circling around me. It's time to shed all this baggage. My mother had a good life. I believe she will die this year, quite soon and I must make peace with this.

The Identity Shedding

Which version of me cannot cross the threshold: Knight of Wands RX + The Drum

Here is my scattered energy - jumping into projects too soon, leaving things unfinished, panicking that I've chosen incorrectly, backing out. The intense short-lived passion of The Krabi Collective, art-making. I pour my energy in and I burn out. But I do like to think I'm left with a helpful after-glow each time - web design experience, IFS iterations, astrology that guides my path. But I must focus now and trust.

Now instead I attune to the current of life and follow accordingly. Not pushing my energy upstream. The universe is aligned to support my efforts more than my action plans and goals.

The Axis Shift

My centre is relocating: Two of Air + Magician RX

Being vulnerable. Trusting myself. Trusting life. With every breath feeling myself to be supported and nurtured by the world to which I am connected. I am safe. I am held in divine love. All the love within me can open outward.

No more pushing with my skills and my efforting. No feeling disconnected from my personal power. Its not about me anymore, my life is in the hands of spirit.

The Emerging Architecture

Something quietly assembles itself underneath the chaos: Seven of Cups + 9 of Fire

Moving away from options and ideas and fantasy and into choices. No more shiny object syndrome, instead there will be focus. I must choose the options aligned with my highest good. Living life in accordance only to what I need. Life is abundant and generous when you take only what is necessary and what truly satisfies my soul.

The Instruction

Action that will stabilise me across 30 days: The Hummingbird

Be gentle with myself, protect my personal space and my physical space. Hummingbird invites me to embark on my epic quest, bypass the dung pile of old pain and hurts, head for the flowers, and learn to trust the calling I hear ever so softly. The buzzing I feel is the sound of my hummingbird wings preparing me to say yes to a new adventure. This is not the time to linger on what has gone wrong, but to trust in the rightness of the moment and take bold action. Trust that success is assured, even if I must face tests and challenges to reach my destination. Know that all will be well. And I do feel a quiet hum, underneath all the chaos and fear there is something now that wasn't there before in the Coyote Medicine Days.

The Storm Gift

I'm in the Eye of The Storm, but a strength is being forged that I will start to recognise in around 6 months: Dance + Jaguar

The ability to dance and flow with the universe, to relish in all that is and be with the current in full joy.

I will develop the qualities of Jaguar: able to explore beyond the walls that confine me, to push my limits and boundaries. She is delivering an invitation from my own future to investigate the unknown, to venture into the mystery and the dark places I have been reluctant to explore. My Jaguar instinct will serve me well.

The Bridge

Something unifies everything that is collapsing - my old structures of security, my mother, my finances, my firiendships: The Moon RX + Thunder

It's the release of fear, anxiety, and confusion. Illusions are fading and hidden truths are coming to light. I am overcoming mental fog, gaining clarity, and trusting my intuition after a period of self-deception. The Tower falls is everyway, another veil drops, another truth revealed.

These big dramatic changes feel like a herd of wild bison on the run. I feel it right through my bones, and I know that I am powerless to influence whatever events have been set in motion. This is a time to be prepared for anything. My life is an adventure, and wonderful opportunities are arriving now. The trick is to learn to run with them. Dance and let my body move with what comes. Qualities that I will need now more than ever are flexibility, dexterity, and a willingness to experience it all without dictating from where or in what form opportunities will come. My destiny is arriving. And I am ready!