The Empty Cup Spread: Post-Eclipse Drain and Gloom

The eclipse ended 2 weeks ago but apparently the actual effects last until at least today.

I have been feeling chronically exhausted and spent. At the end of the day I have nothing left. At the start of the day I wake up bleak. I don't know what happened to my spark, I can normally summon it back. Especially given that I live in tropical paradise, I am doing work for the planet that I love and is actually my dream job, I have created a new healing modality and I'm using it and getting great feedback. James is doing great, we are both healthy and well. It makes me feel ungrateful and endlessly never satisfied.

Of course there are other factors:

• world war 3 and Trump generally, facism, the decline of the middle class

• constant financial struggle and fighting for NMED to get out of the woods

• I have no friends here, I'm in a community but not one that seems to care about me, ask after me. I'm surrounded by people but so lonely

• My mother is in hospital, I can't help her, I might not see her again, I might be totally alone in the world and I have to let her go

• NMED and my resonance all draw down on my nervous system and don't seem to give back

• My work for NMED doesn't seem to land and I can't reach where I feel valued, where I have some ownership and am not a visiting guest

I want a Tarot spread to help me undertstand how to shift this.

The Empty Cup Spread: For understanding energetic depletion and renewal

1. What has been draining my life force?
   The demand or process consuming my energy
   
   10 of Pentacles & The Sorcerer
   
   The pursuit of stability, material wealth, and family legacy is what has become an overwhelming drain. I feel the anxiety of this constantly - and now I am pursuing this not just for myself but for NatureMind-ed also. A business that isn't mine but that I have tied my worth and meaning and prosperity to.
   
   The Sorcerer confirms that I am living in the dark side of the humn psyche - in fear and scarcity. It is causing me to shape my reality and to separate from truth.

2. What inner part of me is most tired right now?
   
   6 of cups & River Movement
   
   My inner child that longs for nostalgia, safety, cosyness. The inner relational self that wants connection, kindess, playfulness, The part of me that believes life could be joyful and flowing is exhausted from waiting for that to arrive. I am so desperate for movement, for life to move forward in one small space where I can feel valued, worthy, rightful. It longs to feel like life is carrying it instead of constantly resisting.

3. What is my system trying to do through this exhaustion?
   
   4 of Fire & Transformation: Be Open to Change
   
   It's trying to create a place of home and safety within me. When I come home to myself a line will shine within me. If I tend that light, that divine fire, I will feel the comfort, brightness and lightness of my spirit. Others will feel it too, everyone in my community can be welcomed into my hearth fire.
   
   Brigid comes to offer me the the fire of transformation. She breathes power into the fire, the heat shapes and softens the metal there, marvellous transformations occur. What was dull and broken can be made malleable. She asks what changes need to be made in my life through the fire of the forge.
   
   I think I need to stop looking outside for validation, stop expecting the world to reshape itself into calm prosperity for me to be happy, stop hoping that my work will please people and give me validation. My home has to be within and I must find peace and joy untethered to the externals. I design a slide deck because I enjoy designing systems, I make a website and business card deck because I like design, I do resonance work because it makes me curious about the patterns in the psyche.

4. What is trying to be integrated or completed?
   
   2 of Water (otters in harmony) & Middle World
   
   I cannot fix everything, my only job is to find moments of play, harmony and connection here in this world as it is. Things may be reshaping behind the scenes, things I cannot control. The dark anxiety about money and the war and the world do nothing to make any changes, I can only change myself and how I relate to the world.

5. What restores my Life Force right now?
   
   7 of Swords RX & Forest Breath
   
   Step out of strategy and into the living body. Walk in nature, swim in the ocean, downshift my nervous system, do simple things that require no several steps ahead.

   
   There's no need to proetct myself through constant vigilance, I have spent years navigating systems that required awareness, intelligence, emotional management. Restoration comes now if I stop calculating every move. Come back into life.

6. What new energy will emerge if I allow this rest?
   
   Witch of Air & Beauty Way
   
   This is the end of eclipse message I had previously - about becoming light and able to manifest my dreams and spin my life around me into what brings joy. The Beauty Way will be both the path that you travel on and a daily practice. The path is where I choose to perceive only beauty before me, behind me, and all around me as I journey through life. The practice is where I take action to bring beauty to every situation you are in. When things get ugly, I can act to bring integrity and peace to the difficult encounter. When everyone else perceives only darkness, I point out the light and help uncover the hidden treasures.

7. The message from my deeper self, the part that is not drained.
   
   Green Man Synergy & Acceptance: The cycle of life
   
   
   I have the advantage of a wonderful, natural synergy right now. The universe is moving things into place and there is no need for me to fret and struggle so much. Things come in cycles and my job is to accept this moment exactly as it is and see the beauty of it unfolding. From the depths of my acceptance new dreams, hope and happiness will be born anew.