Healing Hidden Financial Trauma: Breaking Past Life Soul Contracts with IoPT (part two of five)

After The Threshold of the Devil's Vagina I was feeling clear and confident in letting go of the old structures of my life, releasing the idea that I need something to return to, an exit strategy. Starting to trust that there is no going back, this is my path and the universe is holding me.

But then the very next day I was tested - my mothers flat that has been in a sales process for 7 months, haemorraging cash, eating through my savings - the buyer pulled out on the day of exchange. Fear and panic resurfaced. It's one thing letting go of a life to return to, but this feeling that I will lose everything is too much to bear.

I wonder is there an ancestral entanglement causing money to pour through my fingers. Am I being tested for some higher purpose? Am I bound in a soul contract to feel incapable of managing money, or attracting abundance. It just feels like there's a bigger story here and I'd like to get into it.

Why do I have so much financial stress?

I choose my words, for some reason I feel I need 4 words for this.

Why - The Ten of Pentacles

Much - The Queen of Wands

Financial - The Ten of Swords reversed

Stress - The Nine of Wands

I resonate for Why.

This card often represents inherited wealth, legacy, and familial expectations. But for me, the resonance is one of sickness, rejection, and danger. I feel complete rejection of the image and I feel the image excludes me too. The sensation I have is one of being an outsider, like I've climbed a wall and am peeping in on a different world that I can't understand. The man carries a staff and I wonder if its a weapon. I feel strongly that I shouldn't be here watching, I'm frozen and barely breathing to make sure I'm not caught. If I'm caught it will be humiliating. I'm from a different world, the one I'm looking in on I know I can never be part of, it literally seems to be raining coins in this world. I hate this world, this system of wealth, I feel it's wrong, immoral.

I resonate for Much

Instead of the power, self-assurance, and courage of this bold female leader, I feel woozy, judged, and ashamed. In her presence I feel utterly useless. I literally can't even stand up straight, it's like I've been drugged. I feel she's so distant, she doesn't notice me or even see me, and I can't get her attention. But at the same time I don't want to because I'm so ashamed of the state I'm in - I can't explain it to anyone, I can't get my words out and I know no one will believe me.

I resonate for Financial

This card directly evokes karmic punishment, betrayal, death energy. I feel like I'm in a very, very dark place, a prison maybe and so I wonder if it was me that killed the man in the picture. It feels Like I'm being punished and I did something really bad.

I resonate for Stress

I have a strange sensation in my face, my bones are being distorted, and I'm confused about why I have all these wands. This card shows someone guarded, wounded, but still standing. But for me, there’s confusion—why all this struggle if it doesn’t lead to joy? The wands feel like burdens and the man doesn't seem to be happy even though he has them all.

I try returning to the previous cards to see if there's new information. The Ten of Pentacles definitely wants to align with The Queen of Wands. But when I return to The Queen of Wands to get more information for Much, being in her presence makes me feel so drugged and woozy, it's intolerable to be in the resonance and I have to exit.

I step out of the resonance and just sit with what came up and see how it feels.

This doesn't feel the same as my usual process - where I can clearly identify 'parts' of me - this feels more like a past life story. Because there is a sense of 'me' that has continuation through the story of the cards. And the story isn't one I recognise from my life, and the beliefs and feeling of the 'me' in the story don't belong to this me here and now, yet still feel remarkably strong and resonant.

I have a strong feeling that this is a past life where I was born to a rich and wealthy family but I was perhaps born in secret, maybe an illegimate child who didn't belong, and my mother gave me away to be raised nearby but in poverty. This was hard because I knew my family of origin but was never allowed to tell anyone or talk about it. Instead I would sneak up to the castle walls and look in with longing, fear and resentment. I think after living many years this way, eventually, filled with moral righteousness and hatred, I think I did something very bad - betrayed my mother, killed people, stole back what I believed was mine. I think I was caught and put in a very dark place. I think I may have got away somehow and I ended up with some reclamation of my wealth but it never sat right, I still wasn't happy, because of course the original wound was never healed. I was never enough for my mother, I was abandoned, judged unworthy and useless to the her and the family.

Is there a Soul Contract here that binds me to scarcity, resentment, punishment and a feeling that wealth can never rightfully be mine?

There is a small echo here with my life. My parents were not particularly wealthy, quite middle class. But they wanted to send me to the very best school in the country, the wealthiest, the oldest. I had a feeling of being banished and sent away. I was put in boarding school and there were times I couldn't go back home, I felt deeply unwanted. I also felt a strong sense of not belonging at school. My parents put me there by spending almost all of what they had which made me relatively poor compared to the extremely rich and elite that I was rubbing shoulders with. This made me feel ashamed, I didn't want to bring friends back home, I worried about what I wore, I struggled to fit in and truly belong there.

I open a Tarot spread to feel the threads of the story

1. The Original Wound

What was the core pain or injustice that made the revolutionary fire in me rise?
This card helps name what my soul couldn’t bear, what sparked the revolt—what needed protecting.

I feel the wound before I see the card - the mother wound.

This isn’t just about loss. It’s about unmet longing that has never found proper grief. Reversed, the Five of Cups may point to unprocessed sorrow that festers—hidden, inherited, or exiled - here a maternal rejection wound. The Queen of Wands as judgmental and distant reinforces this.

My past life self wasn't just angry at the rich. He was starving for worth, and possibly trying to punish or avenge the mother who never saw him as good, strong, or whole.

Wound beneath the rage: “I was never enough for the one I most needed love from.”
What needed protecting: A fragile sense of self-worth, crushed under judgment and absence.

2. The Soul Vow

What belief or vow was made in that lifetime that still binds me now?
Looking for language like: “I will never…”, “I must always…”, “They don’t deserve…”

This card’s interpretation should be a lovely one symbolizing joy, peace, a vessel for universal love. But when I see it I experience it very differently - its not a cup that overflows—it's a cup that cannot hold. It's money literally pouring through my hands.

This may represent a vow or belief that:

“I am not a vessel that can hold money, or abundance. I am flawed, leaking, unworthy.”

In my past life I may have rejected wealth and privilege not only in society but in myself—unable to receive or hold because somewhere inside, I’d vowed not to. There’s grief here. A refusal, a punishment, a curse even—rooted in shame and unmet need.

3. The Present Echo

How does this vow still live in me or shape my reactions now?
This shows the entanglement—not just my outer finances, but perhaps inner guilt, pressure, or resistance.

This card precisely shows how this vow lives on in me: overwhelm, avoidance, anxiety, and loss of control around money. This is the living ghost of the vow, still running the show:

• A protector charging around without direction.

• A refusal to face structure.

• A belief that order is oppressive.

The reversed knight’s energy is scattered. He tries to outrun the past but never stops to grieve or tend to the wound beneath.

4. The Grace Thread

What soul wisdom or gift is trying to emerge from this pain?
The gold in the shadow—the deeper value my soul was always protecting or seeking.

This card feels like the crystalline heart of the reading. It is not wealth or punishment that defines me—but purpose, groundedness, and sacred leadership rooted in love for the land and humility before the great cycles of life.

This Guardian is not about having. He is about serving. This is a true king, a king of natural abundance and of integrity. He sits half naked with nothing and yet has everything.

There is a future-self version of me, wiser and calmer, who has released the inner war. He walks softly. He no longer seeks treasure, but meaning. He asks me to use this soul story to release and let go of these unnecessary patterns and relationships with wealth and money structures. To see my true worth, my value and my role.

5. The Step of Soft Release

What gentle step can I take today to begin loosening this knot?
This might be an action, an offering, a choice to rest, or a shift in perception.

This is a beautiful and gentle closing. The Five of Air is not a call to suffering—it’s a clarification of choice. I can continue to make choices driven by pain and a subconcious need to suffer. The Guardian chooses conscious, sacred trade-offs based on integrity. What I take on, what I give myself to, what I serve will create my character and my life. If I release this soul contract I give up the structures that came with it, and consciously now must make new choices.

More Musings on the Theme of My Finances

Temple Ritual: Releasing the Soul Contract of the Exiled Child

To honour and release the past life vow of vengeance, rejection, unworthiness and longing

I lay out the Soul Map as the symbolic field

I also place a chain on The Soul Contract to represent what binds me. I place a small magnet with some coins on The Guardian to represent the capacity to recieve and hold true abundance.

I called forth the soul I once carried:
“He despised the wealth that denied him.
He despised the mother who erased him.
And he made it his mission to break the world that cast him out.”

“He betrayed, he burned, he killed—
but still, the wound remained.
Still, the cup could not hold.
Still, the longing ached in his bones.”

I picked up the chain of The Soul Contract.

I resonated and felt myself in darkness, felt galloping horses, felt myself pulled away and thrown into darkness. This feels like the moment of exile—the severance from love and status. There’s fear, chaos, and speed, it feels like a psychic abduction. I'm being forcibly removed, my power stripped, my place revoked.

This darkness - it feels like home, I want to linger here in the wound space. That space of sadness, betrayal, and defeat has become familiar. It feels restful not because it is peaceful, but because it’s known.

This is the real soul contract: I will stay here, because at least here I understand the rules. Here I am not in danger of further rejection—because I have already lost everything.

I release this vow:
‘I must destroy what I cannot belong to.’
‘I will never receive what they denied me.’
‘I will never be full, never hold, never be seen, never be whole.’”

“This vow is not mine.
It belongs to a soul who suffered in silence.
I bless him. I free him. I let him go.”

I cross the threshold over to The Guardian.

I pick up my symbol of healing and reclamation.

I cross the gate:
I leave behind the hunger that cannot be filled.
I leave behind the hatred that was born from longing.
I leave behind the shame of not being chosen.”

“I receive instead:
The wisdom of the Guardian.
The strength to hold love.
The sacred wealth of sufficiency.”

“I am no longer exiled.
I am home in myself.”

The threshold was filled with doves

As I crossed the gate I saw them fly from my body into the sky and the sunlight. I released the old soul fragments I had been holding, to freedom. I notice two doves sitting on the branch in The Guardian card and I know this release was witnessed and held, honoured.

Holding this card and the reclamation object felt good in a more wholesome way, and it felt light, and I imagined myself magnetizing what I need, releasing what I don't need.

And I saw I wasn't just releasing, I was forming something new - a structure that can hold lots of animals, fruit, abundance. I was becoming a container—not of wealth in the material sense alone, but of life. I'm forming an internal shape that can carry love, spirit, nourishment, and belonging. I am no longer the leaking vessel of the Ace of Cups.

No longer trying to hold what I can in my hands.

I am now a hearth. A sanctuary. To myself.

Closing

I am releasing the Two of Wands - this card often carries the energy of waiting, hesitation, constant strategising. Releasing it suggests:

• Letting go of the liminal zone between decision and action

• No longer standing on the edge, looking outward with longing

• A release from the illusion of choice, or the story of what could have been if only I were let in

• Releasing comfort and security over advancement and growth

I am claiming Ace of Fire, Cauldron of Community, (Witches Wisdom) - a beautiful reclaiming:

• Vitality, creativity, sacred belonging

• A new, joyous fire that wants to build, share, and connect

• I am no longer isolated in pain—I am invited to co-create from the soul

There is something here about restoring my place in the circle—not at the gates of the palace, but at the fire with others.

And now my dreams can grow. Dreaming is my rebirth card.

I am now dreaming a new life into being.

I am receiving symbols, stories, and visions that are real—even if they are not factual.

I am becoming a mythmaker for myself.

Dreaming says: your soul knows the pattern, even if your mind doesn’t yet.

Making Sense of Past Life Work...

Past Life as Symbolic Resonance, Not Literal Memory

When a “past life” story arises during a constellation or tarot-based resonance, it may not be a historical fact—it might be your psyche’s way of narrating something unintegrated.

In Jungian terms, this would be an archetypal story emerging from the unconscious:

• The Abandoned,

• The Judging Mother,

• The Powerless Child,

• The Failed King.

These characters don’t need to come from another lifetime necessarily. They might be fragments of you, expressing deeply encoded emotional realities that haven’t had narrative form before. The cards and the resonance open the door to these symbolic truths.

Your Nervous System Remembers What the Mind Cannot

Sometimes what surfaces feels ancient not because it's from another life, but because it’s transgenerational or preverbal:

• Emotional patterns inherited epigenetically

• Attachment dynamics absorbed in infancy

• Legacy burdens passed down through silence and unprocessed trauma

In this case, the “past life exiled child” might be:

A part of my system that carries rage and shame around not being enough, around the injustice of lack, around the confusion of being punished even when I try to do right.

The Cards as Mirrors, Not Prophets

Tarot doesn’t impose a story—it reflects what wants to be seen. My strong response to the Queen of Wands, the counter-interpretation of the Ace of Cups, the physical discomfort—all of that suggests real parts of my system are trying to speak.

The cards helped me to give them a voice. That’s where their power is—not in being “true” but in being resonant.

How I Choose to Work With This

I was picking up on something that doesn’t belong to my current biography, but it feels deeply personal and real. That’s one of the most reliable signs of inherited legacy material or transpersonal soul imprinting. It’s what Franz Ruppert in IoPT might describe as a foreign trauma identity, and what Jung might call an autonomous complex with a mythic root.

And this is very different to resonating with a personal exile, like a wounded child part or a protector, and even with ancestral legacy material.

It presented to me as a 'pastlife soul contract' and because that's how it presented, that is how I will choose to take it. And even so, I don't need to commit to a belief in reincarnation. I can hold it like this:

“This is a powerful inner myth. Something in me needed to tell this story. I will honour that, and see what shifts when I treat it as real enough to work with—even if I don’t know whether it’s literally true.”

That kind of symbolic integrity is what makes healing rituals so powerful without requiring dogma.

But it's funny you know, I just found out the Aldebaran Silver Gate Portal opens in two days time. Aldebaran is often called the Watcher of the East, guardian of spring's light, and associated with royalty, divine mission, legacy, and wealth of a higher order—not just money, but destiny. According to some astrologers, Aldebaran is also believed to be the home of the Silver Gate Portal: one of those cosmic alignments that opens a shimmering doorway between timelines—soul memories, karmic contracts, future blessings. And for me to be moving through this exact soul-story just days before that gateway? It's an exquisite synchroncity.... ;)

If this resonates...

Perhaps there’s a puzzle in your life, a repeating knot you can’t quite untangle.
Why does this keep happening to me?
Why must I carry this burden?

Maybe it doesn’t feel like it fully belongs to you.
Maybe you’ve searched for its origin, but found no clear beginning.

In my IoPT-style enquiry, we don’t force answers. We listen. We let the field speak.

Sometimes a deeper myth emerges - a soul-story woven from ancestral threads, forgotten memories, or past life echoes.
It may not be your story in the everyday sense…
but it’s living in you now.
And it’s ready to be seen.