Coyote Medicine: A Family Constellation Around Financial Soul Contracts and Self-Worth (part three of five)

I want to improve my financial management.

After my last two constellations, something shifted. A subtle but profound capacity opened in me — I began doing actual spreadsheets. Real, grown-up financial thinking. This is new. I feel like I’ve found some inner ground I’ve never been able to stand on before.

And now I have a decision to make:
Do I restart the sales process on my mother’s flat, which has sat empty and draining money for eight months? Or do I invest a small sum into repairs and try to rent it again, clawing back some of the loss?

On paper, both options have merit.
Both are terrible in their own ways.
And yet I feel completely torn.

Which tells me this isn’t really about money.

Part One: A Constellation of Two Paths

When logic fails and there is an emotional fog, an energetic complexity - I feel the tangle.

And now I know I can work with constellations to understand what's at play.

I call in the ancestral field and ask what ancestral energy is working with me.

I draw a card from the Mystical Shaman Oracle and receive The Coyote.

The sacred trickster.

Coyote energy is divine deception. It shows up through detours, collapses, unexpected failures — and all of it is in service to liberation. Coyote’s role is to make you think you’re heading toward treasure, when really you’re heading toward the lie you most need to shed.

And I think this flat is filled with Coyote medicine.

This flat was bought by my father twenty years ago. He, like me, was made redundant in his early fifties and tried to make some investments.
We are alike in this: good at earning, terrible at holding.
He bought the flat as an investment.
Now I hold the flat as an inheritance — not in title, but in burden - part of my 'good daughter role', picking up where my father left off since his death 3 years ago - taking care of my mother, who is and always has been, utterly incapable with any money or financial decisions.

I go to feel into the Coyote message.
He has eaten something rotten, and now he’s vomiting it up.
A rancid meal.
He lies in the sun, sick and weakened, regretting his hunger.

It has echoes of the rotting fruit and flowers of my old life shown to me At The Threshold of The Devil's Vagina.

It's the same message - holding onto the old structures and using them as security in my new life will make me sick.

The Council Appears

I ask for a message about this entanglement. My card of spirit guides and allies arrive, this time in a different form as from a different deck The Council — luminous ancestors (Mystic Shaman Oracle).

I lay down a decision ritual. Two pathways, two objects.

• A small clay pot for keeping and renting.

• A glittering snake for selling and releasing.

I draw a card for each path.

• Page of Cups reversed (Rent): emotional immaturity, fantasy, regression

• Page of Swords (Sell): youthful clarity, curiosity, the willingness to cut cleanly

Both are Pages. Both are young, naive. But their tone is different.

Renting feels like childlike longing to make things right.
Selling feels like a growing edge — not yet fully confident, but seeking truth.

I hold the clay pot.
It pulls into my belly like there's a whole house entering my gut.
Now it's confirmed this is what made the Coyote sick.

I hold the glittering snake.
And I see my father — weeping.
My mother beside him, saying: “Look what you’ve done to him.”

This image isn’t random. It’s a core entanglement from my childhood.
My mother always guarded my father from me.
She never let me forget how much I hurt him, yet also never told me how.

And he would never say a word.

This isn’t just about property. It’s about proving my worth to both my parents.

In actual life my father told me I should sell the property after his death, and now my mother wants the flat sold. But energetically this constellation shows I'm holding something very different.

The first hidden contract:

“I will redeem your failure.
I will hold the flat until I can make it worthy.
I will prove that I am good with money.
Then you will see that I am good. Then you will forgive me.”

This a contract of redemption.

And so I expand the constellation to understand more.

I bring in the Soul of the Flat.
It feels light. Playful. Innocent. There is no darkness in it. The flat is only here to show the shadow.

So then I bring in my mother and father.

My mother collapses — The Tower reversed.
She crumbles internally because she can't manage money or financial decisions herself, and yet places herself between me and the flat, as if to say, “You don't reach your father, not even through this.”
My father appears frozen — Four of Pentacles reversed - also my financial legacy - trying to hold money but failing.

The field reveals the second contract, one of loyalty:

"I will freeze like my father. I will collapse like my mother. I will not rise above you."

This is about belonging through limitation — mirroring their incapacity in order to remain close to them.

I feel this inheritance. And I feel the burden of repair.

After laying out the field and seeing the entanglement with my parents,

I felt the constellation hadn’t yet revealed its final truth.

Something deeper stirred.

There was still a part of me unaccounted for. A quiet presence that hadn’t yet spoken.

“You have a place at the fire.
You do not need to keep paying the debts of others.
Your wisdom is already within you.
Leap — not because you are certain, but because you are free.

Be who you are destined to be”

Part Two: The Exile, the Island, and the Funeral

I chose an object to represent the part of me that has always felt incapable with money

— the one that panics at spreadsheets, avoids tax returns, loses track of balances. It was a small pendant wrapped tightly in cord, already whispering of constriction.

As I held it, I felt energy from it run up through my arm, it twisted sharply through my neck and into my head. I felt my face pulled into a spasm, as if mimicking neurological trauma. I felt confusion, and panic.

This part wasn’t just scared. It felt itself marked - as though in a bygone time - as developmentally slow, mentally disabled.

The Island of the Unwanted

I drew a card for this part and received:
The Island – Solitude.

Immediately, I saw it: this part had been locked away.

Not just exiled — institutionalised. I just know there is a Victorian style asylum for children on this island. And this child had been sent there against his will, and abandoned.

This was the child the system didn’t want.
The one deemed too slow, too strange, too unfit to keep close.
The one sent away, alone.

I felt a flood of sorrow and shame.
In the ritual, I placed this part’s object on its card — not because I agreed it belonged there, but because I was witnessing the truth of its fate.

Then, instinctively, I surrounded it with soft floral cards. Between it and The Island as though to try and retrospectively soften its place there.
Not to rescue. But to honour.
To turn the place of punishment into a softer place of beauty.
And I cried for this part.

The Funeral of a Soul Contract

I cried and it felt like I cried for this child who had eventually died there - abandoned, alone, unwanted, in an asylum on this island.

But in IFS, we don’t believe parts die. They release beliefs, or they change role...they find their way to a new, more healthy place within the system.

And so I believe this was the death of the soul contract that this part had been called to inact.

The unspoken agreement I had carried since childhood:

“You will be like them.
You will freeze, collapse, and fail with money —
So they do not have to be alone in it.”

The Soul Contract of Loyalty to Incapacity died on that island.

And next, the Contract of Redemption

The message is clear now.
Neither path will win approval.
Neither path will make them love me more.
There is no redemption in renovation and holding on.

The repair is to stop repairing.
To let go not with guilt, but with peace.

To walk away, not from the flat necessarily —
but from the binding myth that my value lies in making it right.

My life is elsewhere now, I'm living in a different dimension but still consumed with decisions and soul contracts that affect my old, dead life. These things are disconnected from my path now, I was shown that At The Threshold of The Devil's Vagina. And this is a tangible example.

I write out the Soul Contract as I felt it to be, then tore it up into tiny pieces, declared it null and void and threw it into the wind.

One contract died, out on an island for unwanted and unseen children, the other is cancelled. My soul is cleansed and my decision now is clear.

If this resonates...

If you are wrestling with a decision that seems impossible to make...

If the options keep circling back with no peace, no clarity — only more confusion, pressure, or collapse...

If you sense that there is more at play than logic can explain — tangled loyalties, unspoken family roles, inherited burdens, or soul contracts that don’t belong to you...

Then perhaps a constellation ritual can reveal what’s hidden, and bring you back into alignment with your own truth.

We don’t always need to push harder to figure things out. Sometimes, we need to step into the field and listen — with our bodies, our breath, and our ancestral knowing.

If this speaks to you, I would be honoured to walk beside you.
Together, we can explore the energetic roots of your dilemma, and create a safe space to untangle what’s not yours, so you can move forward with clarity, sovereignty, and peace.